New Hampshire

I know, I know. I said I'd blog the whole NH thing but it was just easier to post on FaceBook so I did that while I was there instead of blog. I'm sure that most of you who follow my blog also follow me on FaceBook, so maybe a lot of you are up-to-date, but here's the Reader's Digest Condensed Version of what took place in NH, just in case:

6/9/09 - At EMERGE (the place I had to go to have SUPERVISED visits with the kids), I got to visit with the kids for one hour just after the flight on the first day there. The kids are all growing TOO FAST, of course, and Shannon is as tall as me, and with her long feet and arms, like a puppy, she'll be growing still. They all remembered me except for Brenna, but she got more comfortable after a while and started playing with me in no time. She hugged me several times; even called me Mommy quite a few times (got it on video!!!) Nate was excited to tell me about how he can now ride his 2-wheel bike! All of the kids are as comfortable with me as I am with them. I wish I could talk to them about how it would be at home, but as time goes on, I hope to let them know that it's not the same as it was before. Right at the very end, Nate stayed behind the others after we all gave our goodbye hugs and said, “Mom, are you going to be here tomorrow???” I said, “Absolutely!” Mona (the Emerge director) commented on how awesome that was!

6/10/09 – I feel very strongly that the DCYF hearing went well. Interesting tidbit: the neat lady judge at the DCYF hearing could see for herself after reading all 60+ pages of what I’d sent that I’ve been having trouble being able to visit the kids (even recently having trouble talking to them,) yet Brett was able to be there for a week. The funny thing is that the DCYF recommended that I be allowed to see the kids (recommendation was ignored, obviously) and then they further recommended that Brett NOT be allowed to see them (recommendation was - once again - ignored.)

At the guardianship hearing, Jenny's attorney (Pat Hayes) said that since we didn't have time (our time was encroached upon by the previous hearing by over an hour) for all our witnesses to be questioned, and since we didn't have the findings of the DCYF hearing earlier that day, and since, “Jenny & John are concerned that Mandy hadn't bothered to visit the kids before today…” that we should continue the hearing later. I then got up and basically said to Judge Cyr, “Your Honor I DID try to see my kids in August but against the DCYF's recommendations, the Barnharts wouldn't let me, yet she let Brett visit them, once again, against DCYF's recommendations,” etc. I asked the judge what am I supposed to do to get the kids back. No one, not DCYF, not Jenny & John, not the kids’ counselors – NO ONE has told me what to do to get them back. He said he couldn’t tell me anything. He said he would not make a decision until after the results from the DCYF hearing were available...that's the main reason for the continuance of the hearing. So that was that. I set the next hearing date for August 12th.

For this visit all 3 of us (me, mom, Robyn) got to visit and play with the kids at Emerge! I, of course, got to spend 2 hours, mom got the same 2 hours and later mom asked Mona about Robyn joining us and she decided it would be ok! We brought food to them, played outside on swings, and inside with toys. All the while Mona watched, listened, and took notes very carefully for evidence. At the end of the visit, Brenna squeezed me so tightly and said, "Mommy, I want to go with you." AWESOME!!!!! I said, "Honey, you don't even know..." (Robyn had to leave the room... my strong-as-steel BFF couldn’t handle how awesome it was!) When our time was up, Mona took me into another room and I thought she was going to make a comment about something I’d done wrong (you can’t be too careful!) but she asked me WITH INTEREST, “How did the hearings go???” so I told her how it all went. She also basically told me that she couldn't see what all the fuss was about (referring to the need for supervised visits) and that I should subpoena her notes for these two days of visits for evidence at the next hearing.

6/11/09 – I visited with a very neat lady at the DCYF and she was such a doll to help us and answer questions, etc. She was VERY sympathetic about how the 2^nd hearing with Judge Cyr went. Anyway, at the DCYF, we all talked a lot about what to do, what steps to take.

The whole trip was completely whirlwind - driving as fast as we could from the airport in VT to the visitation place. From there to the hotel in NH. From the hotel to getting up early to view interviews, then the 1st hearing, then driving to the 2nd hearing, then driving back down to VT for the 2nd visitation, then back up to NH to the hotel. Then getting up early for our newly made appt with DCYF, then we drove down Main Street in Littleton for like ONE hour, had lunch at the same spot that Lori and I did back in August, then drove straight to the airport in VT. It was crazy! But seeing the kids for 3 hours alone made the trip worth it!

Sidenote: the very next conversation I had with the kids, the Sunday after, during the conversation with Nate, I said, (words in quotes are exact wording) “Thanks for playing with me the other day!” (Referring to the visit at Emerge.) He asked me if I was still there at Emerge and I told him I wasn’t. I said, “I wish I was!” He said “I wish I were at your home then I would see you. I want to be there with you, alot.” I told him soon! He said, “Yeah but Jenny & John won’t let me.” Then I changed the subject so Jenny & John wouldn’t jump in and stop the conversation for me saying anything they wouldn’t want me to say. How cool is that though, what a sweet boy!!!